DESERT STORM LEVELS DADDIES, SENDS ‘ZONA INTO FIRST PLACE

PEW LOSES COMPOSURE IN ESCALATING GAME OF ANGRY ANTICS
The tone was set with the Daddies’ first at-bat.
To start the Daddies’ offense in a nearly accidental but clearly consequential showdown between the No. 2 Pew’s Your Daddy and the No. 3 Raising Arizona, speedster Alec “Pickles” Tyson smacked a grounder to short. The shortstop quickly grabbed [...]

DADDIES WIN; BLASPHEMOUS BLOG POST FOLLOWS

DADDIES WIN GAME OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS
THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT — Late-game heroics carried Pew’s Your Daddy to a two-run victory over the 24:Sixers Wednesday night, as the Daddies continued on their spiritual journey to the Congressional Softball League Tournament, seeking redemption for the sins of past playoff appearances.
The Daddies, riding a two-game winning streak after their [...]

Daddies celebrate freedom with offensive fireworks

The field that is way too far from bars next to all those port-a-potties – Working-class Americans suffered their biggest setback since the Reagan administration Wednesday night as Pew’s Your Daddy handed the Department of Labor a 20-run loss on the eve of America’s birthday.
Freedom, and capitalism, rang throughout the game, as the Daddies [...]

Service Nationals go down swinging against accelerating Daddies

THE DUCK POND – There are only so many times in a row you can utter, or hear, or think, the words “A swing and a miss.” The Service Nationals proved Wednesday that said threshold is right around 30 times.
This is, after all, a league with no strike outs.
Before he stepped to the plate, [...]

Overcoming fear of Bears, Daddies beat Grunley to take second place

AUXIER: FAILURE A BIGGER FEAR THAN BIG, MEAN CONSTRUCTION WORKERS
THE DUCK POND – Before Pew’s Your Daddy’s fateful showdown with the Grunley Bears, Daddies manager Richard Auxier detected an unease in the dugout. There was some grumbling. A stray worry here and there. Dejected comments. Doubt.
Yes, the Daddies were playing the [...]

DADDIES TORCH SPECIAL OLYMPICS SQUAD 31-8

HERE’S THE SCOOP: DADDIES RIP RINGERS FOR A BASKIN ROBBINS-STYLE ROUT

The Daddies celebrate a runaway win against the unsuspecting Special Olympics team.
THE DUCK POND – Haunted by a near come-from-behind win just the week before, Pew’s Your Daddy batters left nothing to chance Thursday as they clobbered their first opponent claiming to be a professional [...]

Daddies outgun One Hitters by one run

DADDIES EDGE ONE HITTERS, 8-7
No, we didn’t “smoke” them. Please.
So on a windy day, the Daddies eked out an 8-7 win against the One Hitters, the pot-promoting team that narrowly beat us last year in the regular season and prematurely ended our season in the playoffs. We were cruising to a victory [...]

Showing a bit of blood and guts, Daddies smack around Bush Whackers

HOUSTON HAS A PROBLEM; TEXANS LOSE AND DADDIES CRUISE TO BRUISING 12-2 TRIUMPH
THE DUCK POND — Overcoming dirty play worthy of LBJ, a bloodied and depleted Pew’s Your Daddy team handily defeated the Texas Bush Whackers by a 12-2 margin Thursday.
For the Daddies, Thursday’s victory boosted spirits that had been [...]

Sluggers slip past Daddies in scrimmage, Vock booted as manager

DADDIES’ NEXT TASK TO GET THAT DIRT OFF THEIR SHOULDERS*
17TH AND CONSTITUTION, err, THE LUNAR-LIKE SURFACE UNDER THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT — What nearly went down in history as the Game When The Daddies Asserted Primogeniture turned out to be the Scrimmage Where Older Brother Let His Kid Brother Win, as Pew’s Your Daddy fell [...]