THE DUCK POND – There are only so many times in a row you can utter, or hear, or think, the words “A swing and a miss.” The Service Nationals proved Wednesday that said threshold is right around 30 times.
This is, after all, a league with no strike outs.
Before he stepped to the plate, the unfortunate Service Nationals batter looked like a normal, red-blooded American male. He said he was a bit rusty. But, hey, not everybody can hit a home run on their first league at-bat like Richard “Rock Sure” Auxier. But rust does not explain 50 pitches sailing by without so much as a foul tip.
At least what the poor swinger lacked in hand-eye coordination, he made up for with good spirits and a bit of humility.
Yes, my friends, he called himself out on strikes. This, again, in a league with no strike outs. Daddies pitcher/captain/author/not-so-recently-converted-fan-of-narrative-ledes-and-blatant-self-promotion Dan Vock may be the only player in the Congressional Softball League with a “K” on the stat sheet. Just sayin’.
It may have taken all night, but Pew’s Your Daddy held on to secure a 22-11 victory Wednesday night against a foe that defied so many expectations.
When the Daddies got the hang of the Nats’ first pitcher, the crafty opponents responded by sending their best bowler to the mound.
When the Daddies got cocky, the Nats’ made a spirited run late in the game to keep the Daddies on their toes.
When the Daddies invited the Nats to Froggy Bottom, they not only showed up in numbers that even outdid the Daddies for most of the night.
(Of course, as always, the Daddies prevailed eventually. They triumphed thanks to certain die-hard Daddy standouts, whose stamina and tolerance was unquestionably superior, especially because they were celebrating the birthday of second basewoman Elizabeth Podrebarac.)
On the diamond, outfielder Will Packard made the most of his abbreviated appearance at the Duck Pond. In short order, he paid off his loan shark, showed off his new jersey and hammered the game’s only home run. He then ran off to score three goals in a Virginia soccer game.
Packard’s third-inning shot drove in two runs and sparked a rally in what would prove to be the decisive inning. Eight Daddies came home during the third, including the Terrible Trio of Paul, Kat “One Thousand” Zambon and Tanner “Tecate” Horton Jones, who each had perfect hitting games.
The only blemish on their third-inning showing was Paul’s overly aggressive base running, which ended in a premature out. Rookie mistake. After he talks to third base coach Alec “Pickles” Tyson, he’ll never make that mistake again.
Luckily, the Daddies’ well-balanced line-up meant the Nationals could not exploit any part of the Daddies’ batting order. The vast majority of Daddies got on the scoreboard with a run. By the end of four, they led 16-4.
The Nationals held on and even made a slight dent in the Daddies lead to end the game. Their weakest hitter never appeared at the plate again and their stronger batters found their spots. With the runners piling up, they began challenging the Daddies to make plays at home. The Nats scored on one such play, as the runner forced the ball from Vock’s glove. Despite Vock’s protestations, replay was unavailable. That and, you know, tie goes to the runner.
GAME NOTES:
– For all the discussion on errors, only two batters advanced to first on an error this game.
– The Daddies had 22 singles and nine extra-base hits, including Packard’s home run.
– Big-time props go to Felisa Gonzales, who held the top of the hill from marauding kickballers and softball players with no concept of physics. She took the high ground after the Grunley Way stole our regular field which we first showed them the previous week. Gonzales held fast, despite an illness that prevented her from playing or so much as cracking open a cold one. Kudos.
